Glitter and Glass
by MorbidMandy
Summary: Magnus is fighting against the clock when Alec is diagnosed with a deadly form of cancer. Multi-chapter. First story in The Glitter Trilogy.
1. Chapter 1: Diagnosis

**Okay, so here it is. Don't kill me if I get any of the symptoms wrong-I have very little experience with this. :) I hope you like this! This is going to be a short, multi-chapter story, the first of a series I'm calling the Glitter Trilogy. All of the titles will have the word 'glitter' in them.**

**Also, I have never been to Manhattan, Brooklyn, NYC, or, for that matter, NY state. So if I get things wrong, don't judge me. I'm too lazy to do any form of research. I'd much rather spend my time writing. But Manhattan General sounds like a hospital, right?**

**Inspired in part by the songs 'Cancer' by My Chemical Romance and 'Your Guardian Angel' by Red Jumpsuit Apparatus. I definitely recommend listening to it at **_**some**_** point during the following chapters. The video for 'Cancer' always makes me cry... :'(**

**I own nothing.**

Alec Lightwood was not used to this. He was not used to being here. He was not used to not being... healthy.

Alec Lightwood was in the hospital.

He lay in the hospital room, fingers twitching towards the bag that held his stele. He wished he was fighting something, he wished that he was... anywhere but here. But for the past few days, any form of demon hunting had been impossible. His eyes fluttered shut as he remembered earlier that day...

**~flashback~**

Alec let his body fall against the hard floor of the training room, air rushing out of his lungs. He laid perfectly still for a long moment, his body aching all over. It wasn't a new feeling, nor was the disbelief he felt when he resigned himself to the fact that he was on the floor... and there was nothing around him. He had simply kicked at the air, and... he'd just felt so tired...

He'd gone to bed early every night for the past two weeks (well except for when he was at Magnus'...), but he still seemed to be getting more and more tired. And his body ached all over... sleep seemed to dance at the edge of his vision, urging him towards it...

He winced as he rolled slightly on his side... lately he'd had this awful pain in his side too... he figured it was just a pulled muscle... or something.

"Alec?" Isabelle's voice cut through the air, and he leapt to his feet, ignoring as he almost fell over.

"I'm here, Izzy!" he called, licking his lips and blinking hard when his vision wavered again, and exhaustion once again lapped at the edges of his vision.

"Mom wants you." Isabelle said, smirking at her brother, "She thinks that you need to concentrate more on your training."

Alec let out a sigh and left the training room, slowly making his way down the hall. Of course his mother would think that-he had been unbelievably weak lately. But he'd trained hard yesterday... or at least, he'd tried... and his vision wavered yet again when he reached the door of the kitchen. He raised his hand to knock, but his hand seemed to be far, far away...

His vision seemed to tunnel as he reached out yet again. His hand fell against the door, and the blackness he'd attributed to exhaustion took over his vision. Alec's head hit the door and it fell open, taking him with it.

He caught one last sound before he descended into the darkness, and it was simply his name, being screamed by his mother.

**~flashback~**

Alec had been compelled to tell his mother everything when he awoke a few minutes later. She'd promptly descended into tears, blamed herself, and insisted they go to the hospital. Ever since Max had died, she'd done the whole 'tears and blame herself' thing a _lot_.

He shifted uncomfortably in the hospital bed, wincing when he realized that, no matter how often he squirmed, the bed was not going to get any more comfortable. His head lolled back against the pillow, and he waited for the doctor to return. However, his phone distracted him from his pursuit of patience.

It was Magnus' ringtone, a bubbly pop tune Magnus had programmed. Alec didn't let it get past the first few words before grabbing it and answering.

"Magnus?" his voice sounded dry, so he took a quick sip of water and tried again, "Magnus?"

"Alec, darling! You sound horrible! Are you sick?" Magnus' voice boomed through the phone.

"Maybe. I'm at the hospital." Alec pulle the phone away from his ear in preparation for Magnus' answer.

"WHAT? Where, why? Why? Alec! Are you okay?" Magnus yelled, all in the matter of fifteen seconds.

"Manhattan General. I... I'm just tired. I think it's exhaustion." Alec lied, sighing as he heard the unmistakable sounds of Magnus leaving his apartment.

"I'm on my way, Alec." and Magnus hung up.

Alec let out a huff as he snapped his phone shut and threw it on the hospital bed. He didn't want Magnus to come. He just wanted the damn doctor to get his butt in here, give him some medicine, and he wanted to go _home_. Or, more likely, Magnus'. He wanted to curl up with Magnus and Chairman Meow. He wanted everything to go back to normal.

"Is Magnus coming?" his mother asked, fiddling with a pen.

"Yeah. I don't see why, though. I just want the doctor to-"

But his mother didn't get to hear what Alec wanted the doctor to do, because said doctor entered then, with the kind of grim look on his face that makes you sure, suddenly and completely sure, that your life will never be the same.

**~X~**

Magnus Bane hurried down the streets of Manhattan, seeking out the hospital. He was worried about Alec, of course, but he had a million things on his mind. Like if he was going to go shopping tomorrow-not if Alec was sick, of course. What time his meeting was with that witch in a few days, and why exactly had the Clave decided that now was a good time to start sending him people to work with?

He was thinking of all these things, and many more, but the second he spotted the tall, white building that arose from the grayness that was Manhattan. Then his thoughts centered around Alec, completely... completely on Alec.

Magnus rushed through the lower levels of the hospital, ignoring the stares of people wondering who this glittering, colorful man was. At last he reached Alec's floor, and he swept past the nurses station, simply waving them off when they tried to stop him from going to his room...

He opened the door he knew held Alec, and saw a man in a long white coat (a doctor, he assumed), Maryse, and Alec lying in the bed, looking half-dead. Alec's head lifted when Magnus entered, tears glistening in his eyes.

"Alec?" Magnus asked, concern creeping into his voice.

Alec looked sideways, and when he spoke, it was one single word. The one word that Magnus least expected to hear, that he least expected to leave Alec's mouth... and the worst one that could have.

"Cancer."

And like glass, with that word, Magnus' world shattered into a million tiny pieces.

**So how was it? Do you hate me? I know this was a short chapter, but hopefully they'll get longer soon. I already have this story planned out... and its sequel... and the sequel to that... so hopefully the writing should come faster.**

**Review!**


	2. Chapter 2: Deeper

**Okay so I'm kind of stealing the information on the disease from 'Secret Vampire', the first book in the Night World series by L.J. Smith. I'm **_**just**_** stealing the medical information, though... so don't sue me please. :)**

**I own nothing.**

Magnus Bane stood in the hospital room of the love of his life, and watched him listen as the doctor explained exactly what type of cancer he had. Some part of Magnus listened as well to the doctor, and he got some vague information.

Alec had pancreatic cancer.

He would have to stay in the hospital for a while.

They didn't know how long.

And then the doctor asked to speak to Maryse in the hallway, and Magnus followed, giving Alec a small smile as he slipped out the door behind her. The doctor gave him a look, but Maryse clung to his arm, watching the doctor with wide eyes as he laid it out for her.

There was no cure for pancreatic cancer.

The best they could do was... experimental trials in places like California and Sweden. But even then... they weren't talking about cures. They were talking about palliative measures-making him as comfortable as they could... extending his life by maybe two weeks...

Magnus' world seemed to shatter again, and his knees buckled. The next thing he knew was that he was being held up. It was Jace-Maryse had called him before, and he had just arrived... in time to here the end.

Extending his life... for weeks.

Magnus was being lifted, and he looked into the gold eyes of the man he had... been jealous of, hated, endured... and now all he could think of was that it wasn't fair. That people like Jace got to live-people who should already be dead, people who shouldn't... and Alec... pure, beautiful, honest Alec.

Magnus pulled himself out of Jace's arms, taking a sustaining breath. He saw Robert and Isabelle Lightwood coming down the hall, and he took that as his cue to leave, letting Maryse be comforted by her husband... he needed to see Alec... needed to see that he was still alive...

He slipped through the door of Alec's room, shoving a fake and strained smile on his face.

"Hey Alec." he said in the cheeriest voice he could muster... he sounded depressed.

"Magnus... how bad is it?" Alec asked, propping himself up against the pillows. For a moment, all Magnus could do was look at him. How had he not noticed this before? Alec's sallow skin, bruise-like smudges under his eyes, so frail...

Magnus looked at the floor, eyes burning yet again with tears. He wanted to lie to Alec. He wanted to tell him that it was nothing, that it was easily curable... but he couldn't.

"It... it doesn't look too great. I-I'm going to do some research, though-both in mundane diseases and warlock magic. You _will_ be fine, Alec." the last sentence was said with force, and Magnus looked Alec straight in the eyes.

"If... you say so." Alec smiled at him, but it was weak and it made Magnus silently sob. This wasn't Alec... this wasn't him. Alec... Alec was fearless, immune to every little other worry anyone should have. Didn't their relationship have enough to worry about without adding... cancer.

"I do." Magnus said, but added silently, If you die... then I will follow quickly after. Magnus couldn't imagine a world without Alec... he didn't even want to try.

**~X~**

Alec had fallen asleep soon after that, and Magnus had been joined with the rest of the Lightwood family. He'd told Isabelle to call him the moment Alec woke, and she'd nodded, looking numb.

Magnus sat in the hospital library, which, much to his surprise, looked like any other library. He had one file in front of him. He opened it slowly, and the first paragraph intensified the ball of dread building in his stomach.

'_...rarely curable... poor response to chemotherapy, surgery, and radiation therapy... pain...'_

Pain... the thought of Alec-his Alec-having to go through pain sickened him... Alec, who blushed when Magnus said something risque-even if they had just _done_ something risque, who cuddled with him on their bed, and sometimes even called for Chairman Meow to cuddle with them... Alec, who had taken a Christmas card photo with him even though it was October. Who'd put on that green sweater with the reindeer, who held Chairman Meow still (that cat had _hated_ those antlers!) and grinned wildly at the camera...

Magnus read on.

'_...The overwhelming majority of patients will die, and die quickly... usually inoperable, rapid and debilitatingly painful... average survival three weeks to three months... overall survival rate less than three percent... less than one percent if the cancer has spread...'_

Three... three months... Alec would live... three months... in horrible pain... and what could Magnus do? He would try-oh God, would he try... but he'd already heard stories of warlocks who nearly killed themselves trying to fight off diseases like this-diseases that seemed to thrive on the magic, on the work... but there was a difference between Magnus and those other warlocks. They'd stopped before they cured the people, too worried about themselves... but Magnus didn't care about himself. He didn't care if he died, as long as Alec was alright.

And if Alec wasn't... Magnus refused to think of that. He would cure Alec. He would have to. There was... simply no other option.

**~X~**

Magnus slipped back into Alec's room, sending a thankful smile Isabelle's way. She'd called the moment Alec started moving. Now Alec was awake, and staring pensively out the window. Robert and Maryse sat in chairs in one corner, speaking in low voices, Isabelle and Jace sat across from Alec's bed, silent. Magnus waved his hands next to Alec's bed, and a chair appeared there (Jace and Isabelle nearly fell out of their chairs, Maryse and Robert looked slightly surprised, but Alec was used to things just coming and going).

He sat next to Alec, reaching over and grabbing his hand. For a moment all was silent, but then Alec pulled on Magnus' hand, tugging him over to sit on the bed. Magnus gently pushed Alec's bangs out of his eyes, smiling faintly as he remembered the many times he offered to take Alec to a fancy salon to get his hair cut... and Alec simply let it grow longer and longer...

And now... now Alec's hair might fall out. And Alec might wither away and-

Magnus kissed Alec's forehead, refusing to let himself think any more of those depressing thoughts. He would spend the rest of the day with Alec, and when visiting hours were over, he would go home and research more about warlocks fighting cancer. There had to be _something_ he could do...

And when it got late, he would go back to Alec-the nurses didn't need to know that he was there. He was a warlock, after all. Stupid mundane things like visiting hours shouldn't apply when... when he could lose someone so important to him. He should never have to leave...

Alec pulled Magnus down, and Magnus tenatively laid down beside him, extremely aware of the fact that Alec's parents were only a few feet away, no doubt watching them closely.

Magnus wound one arm around Alec, and they fit together perfectly, moving into the same form they did almost every night-Alec on the left side, head on Magnus' chest (although this time he was wearing a shirt), Magnus' arm around him, holding him close. If he closed his eyes... he could almost imagine that it was any other night... and they were going to drift off to sleep together...

Alec turned slightly, burrowing his face in Magnus' chest as he let out a soft sob. Magnus' other hand rubbed his back, as the warlock blinked back tears, but it was a lost cause, they slid down his cheeks. Maryse and Robert cried softly too, watching their son crying, being held, sobbing into his chest...

Watching him die.

**~X~**

Magnus left the hospital feeling like he'd been awake for weeks. He would return in two hours, slipping past the nurses. Until then, he'd go back to his apartment and pore over every book, every spell, looking for something... anything... that would help Alec. It would take more than two hours, he was sure, but he had a _plan_.

He would go home, feed Chairman Meow, and gather research materials. He would make sure that he had all of the materials together so that when he had more time, he could sit down and get right to it. The only hard part would be convincing himself not to spend every second with Alec. He would have to drag himself away sometimes... he decided that he would be there from 12-8, which were the weekly visiting hours (today had been a Sunday, so they'd ended at 7), and then from 11-6. That would give him nine hours a day for research. Even that seemed like much too much time.

Magnus made it to his apartment, barely noticing that he had mail-he had _mail_? What? He was the High Warlock of Brooklyn. People sent him fire-messages, not letters. There was a flyer for a party-printed on sea-green paper that would've immediately assured Magnus that he would go, if not for Alec. He trashed the flyer. There was a stark white envelope too, addressed to '_Magnus Bane the High Warlock_'. He shoved it in his pocket, vaguely annoyed at whoever would send him _mail_.

Chairman Meow meowed mournfully at him as he passed, and Magnus made a face as he fed the tiny feline. As his cat daintily (HA!) ate his food, Magnus changed quickly, running a brush through his multicolored locks and pulling them back in a ponytail. Then, grabbing a carton of Chinese food from thin air (thank you, Dragon King on fifth), he started the arduous process of selecting books for research.

**~X~**

Alec Lightwood was glad he was alone. He missed Magnus, yes, but he needed some time alone. Ever since he got the diagnosis, he'd wished for nothing but solitude. Cancer. He had to think it over, he had to... analyze his options, weigh them and think about... what? It wasn't like he had any sort of choice. The fact that he was here, in a hospital, instead of the Institute, said it all. His mother wanted him here... just in case.

Just in case.

Just in case he died. Just in case his body decided it didn't want to be torn apart by this disease, and decided to just... let go.

His eyelids fluttered, but he struggled to stay awake. The doctors had immediately started off by giving him hardcore antibiotics, and they warned him that he would be exhausted, and to rest when he needed to, but... Cancer. He had cancer. He only had a few months to live (he'd watched quite a few episodes of ER and Grey's Anatomy, not that he'd ever admit that to anyone...), and he was _not_ going to spend those months _sleeping_. He could sleep when he was dead. Well, not really, but... well, the point was: he was not going to sleep away the time he had left.

Alec couldn't help but wish that this had happened to someone else... he just... didn't want to die. It was the strangest thing... he'd never really had a strong desire _not_ to die. I mean, he never _wanted_ to die, but he always figured... that if he died, it would just happen. But now...

He bit his lip harshly to keep back tears. Now... he'd thought of his future. Of marrying Magnus, and living with him and Chairman Meow (was it strange that he really, actually, _loved _a cat? That he didn't own? And that, the first time he'd slept over at Magnus', had leapt on his back and clawed him? Well, he loved that little furry midget cat.), and growing old with... well, he'd thought up to a certain point. He wanted to marry Magnus, and he wanted to do so many things... stupid things like watching a full episode of America's Next Top Model and not hate it, and important things like kissing Magnus on top of the Eiffel Tower... He _wanted_ things... and it wasn't fair that he'd never get to do them.

A nurse came in, harried but smiling, taking his BP and telling him to get sleep. Alec just gave her his best smile... but he could see it in her eyes... pity, for the young boy dying so quickly... grasping desperately to life, wishing for nothing but time...

When she left, Alec let himself go, and he cried.

**~X~**

Magnus left his apartment at 8:45, mind running through the books he'd picked out. There were a few scrolls he wanted to get, and he'd sent out a few requests for materials to some of his contacts... He had a few spells he could try, and in the ridiculously (magically) deep pockets of his cloak, he had a few pieces of paper with ideas on them. Things he could try tonight... to help ease Alec's pain...

He rushed down the street, brushing through the throng of people that were, of course, going in the opposite direction. After all, it was late, and he was _leaving_ the residential streets-and, for that matter, he was leaving the nightclubs. Magnus shoved past a crowd of colorfully mohawked teenagers, and into the hospital.

Magnus had heard that people didn't like hospitals, that they made them feel sick, but... he'd always liked them. The hospital was never quiet, never dark... there was always someone doing something... there was always activity. And it wasn't like he'd ever really visited a loved one in the hospital... until now. Now he found himself glaring at the bright fluorescent lights and the nurses... not that they could see him. It was times like this that he was really, really glad that he had his magic.

He slipped into Alec's room, smiling at the sleeping boy. He looked so young here... so young, and so healthy. He looked free of all of the worldly problems... away in dreamland.

Magnus put a quick spell on the door that would alert him when someone approached it (with intention to come in), and dropped his glamour. He pulled the blankets off of Alec (his warmth would have to wait for a moment...) and sat down beside the boy, preparing for the first spell.

"Magnus?" Alec mumbled sleepily, one eye inching open. Magnus gave him a smile.

"Shhh, Alec, darling, go back to sleep." he whispered, stroking the boys cheek. Alec smiled faintly, turning his head to nuzzle the hand.

"I'm cold..." he whined in a sleep-slur voice, hands reaching for the blankets.

"Hold on a minute, okay?" Magnus said, his hands hovering over Alec's stomach as purple wisps of energy emerged from his fingertips and made their way into his body.

Alec arched off the bed, letting out a yell, "What are you doing?"

Magnus glanced at the door as he felt people coming closer, no doubt to check on Alec after his yell.

"I am... or I was... trying to heal you. But now..." Magnus stepped away from the bed, but realized, as the doorknob turned, he didn't have time to do the complicated blur-glamor he'd used to get in the first time. Instead he murmured a quick spell that, although not making him invisible, basically making him just seem uninteresting to anyone who came in. They would see him, but they wouldn't register him as being anything other than a piece of furniture.

Nurses ran in, but Alec quickly made an excuse about having a nightmare, and they left him with two sleeping pills and a promise to be back in two hours to check on him. The second they were gone, Magnus let the spell dissolve, and he sat next to Alec on the bed, smoothing the sheets down around him as Alec shoved the pills under the pillow.

"So... can warlocks really cure cancer?" Alec asked, fiddling with his hospital gown. He felt ridiculous wearing it-he felt like he was wearing a dress. He thought kindly of his grey sweater and black jeans... hell, he would even take those tight glittered jeans Magnus had brought him. Anything other than this dress.

"I... I don't know. But I'm hoping that I can at least... help." Magnus managed a strained smile, "I researched some..."

Magnus explained to Alec his plans for the days-when he would be at the hospital, and when he would be at home, researching. He didn't, however, tell him about what he had learned about pancreatic cancer. No, he wouldn't subject Alec to the gruesome details... Magnus knew that he would protect Alec to his last breath. Whether it be from demons, cancer, or details... he never wanted Alec to have to suffer... not even for a second.

But Alec wasn't an idiot, and he quickly discerned the deeper meaning from Magnus' words.

"It's bad." It wasn't a question, but his eyes asked not just this question, but a million others. Magnus wanted to lie, oh God how he wanted to lie... he wanted to tell Alec that of _course_ it wasn't bad-Alec would be fine, he'd just have to stay in bed for a day or two, and he'd be _fine_.

But he couldn't lie. But he couldn't say the words. So Magnus nodded, tears sliding down his cheeks, and splashing on the bed, leaving little glittery water marks on the hospital gown and on the sheets. Alec wordlessly reached out for him, and they curled up together on the bed, clinging to each other as if they were each others salvation... as if they were drowning, and holding desperately to shore.

Because... this was all they had.

**~X~**

Magnus left the hospital the next morning at 6:57. He had woken up at 6 with Alec, dressed (he had magicked quite a few things from his apartment), and was ready to leave at 6:30, before the nurses came by for their seven-o-clock rounds. But Alec had held him back, with kisses and things he wanted Magnus to do. Actually, most of the things he wanted him to do had been things that were in Magnus' apartment.

Like: Feed Chairman Meow in the mornings too. Magnus told Alec all the time to feed Chairman Meow around noon and around 11. Magnus was never up in the mornings and, anyway, he didn't want his cat to get fat. But Alec had apparently been feeding him before he left at 7 every morning. Alec said that Meow was so _tiny_, he NEEDED the extra calories. Magnus had been surprised-Alec was oddly attached to his cat. Magnus had actually walked in on Alec cuddling Chairman Meow and baby-talking to him once. It had been very cute and only slightly disturbing.

The rest of the things were more normal: things like watering the plants and getting Alec some of the things he regularly left at Magnus' house. He probably had more things at Magnus' apartment than at the Institute. Not that Magnus was complaining-he loved walking into the bathroom and seeing Alec's (black) towels mixed in with his (pink, green, yellow and neon blue). He loved everything about having Alec always at his apartment.

Except the sadness that always followed after he left.

Magnus strode up the steps to his apartment, the door swinging open in front of him as he threw himself on the couch. He was tired-which shouldn't be the case, because he had slept for a while... but he was used to 10 hours a night, and he'd only gotten 5. He'd spent the rest of his time talking to Alec, or watching Alec, or healing him.

Speaking of healing him... so far nothing had helped. Well, they'd _helped_, but they hadn't cured. But Alec's pain wasn't as intense, and he'd seemed more awake. It hadn't healed him, though. It was a testament, Magnus thought, to the power of cancer, that not even a warlocks power could help him. Warlock power did _everything_. It was freaking AWESOME. Magnus had never had to worry about his health (although that was more from the whole 'immortal' thing than actual powers...) or the health of anyone he loved. Not that Magnus really loved many people.

Magnus fed Chairman Meow, who seemed slightly put out that Alec wasn't there to do it himself, but he just made a face at the cat and told him to be grateful he was being fed at all. Wow, he thought to himself, I am talking to a cat.

Magnus took a quick shower, not bothering with makeup or to do anything more than brush his hair and pull it back. He sat at his desk, pulling over a leather-bound book full of spells and historical documents. As he flipped through the pages, his mind returned to Alec... remembering how small he seemed as he laid in the hospital bed, one hand curled around the blanket, a big but weak smile gracing his features.

Magnus shoved the book away roughly, resting his head on the desk. Remembering Alec... the image is burned into his retinas, haunting and taunting him. How could he not have known? He just thought... Alec was always so tired... he thought that it was just from the demon hunting. Images of Alec swam before his eyes... Alec, waving goodbye from the hospital bed, Alec with dark bruises under his eyes, Alec whimpering in pain when he moved too quickly, Alec putting on a brave face as the nurses injected him with more medication... Alec, smiling at him from their bed, reaching out for him, laughing...

Just... Alec.

**So how was it? I think the best way for me to write this is to not stop-the second I finished chapter one I started chapter 2. So I'm going to start chapter 3 as soon as I finish writing this note :).**

**Review!**


	3. Chapter 3: Decor

**Wow this is depressing to write. Seriously, I make myself listen to sad music so I stay in a melancholic mood.**

**I've never owned an iPod (shocker, considering I listen to music 80% of the day), but I have 'borrowed' my friends before ;), so hopefully I got the details right.**

**The song I mention (by name) is Cemetery by Say Anything. I love that song. **

**P.S. I introduce an OC in this chapter, but she's not going to be a big part of the story.**

Alec lay in the hospital bed, watching the ceiling. Well, his eyes were on the ceiling, but his mind was wandering. He'd never, ever expected this. Cancer. Whoa. It still kind of blew his mind.

His hand twitched towards the nightstand, wanting his iPod. But he was so tired... he forced his hand to inch across the bed, pulling the tiny electronic towards him. Magnus was addicted to his own iPod (pink with rhinestone rainbows on the back), and Alec had loved listening to it for so long that Magnus had finally bought him his own, loaded with all of the songs he loved. It was black, with a pink rhinestone on the lower right hand corner. To remind him of Magnus.

Alec shoved the earbuds in, fingers automatically pressing buttons to turn it on and load his playlist. This time, however, he hovered over the play button, before switching songs. It fit the mood, he decided, to play depressing songs. Since his iPod was basically a copy of Magnus', he knew most of the songs, but he'd never had occasion to listen to Magnus' "Sad Songs" playlist. Now he would.

The first song started strangely upbeat, and Alec glanced at the name. 'Cemetery' by Say Anything. Alec's eyes started to slide shut, his last thought before the waves of sleep overtook him was, 'Magnus has good taste in music...'

Alec dreamt in pictures and sounds, of a tall woman with tumbling yellow hair, holding out a white rose. When he touched it, it curled in on itself and died. He dreamt of Magnus, dressed all in black, crying over a stone angel. He dreamt of Jace looking up at the sky and jumping into the clouds. He dreamt of many things, and some part of him wondered if they weren't somehow prophetic.

**~X~**

Magnus was not having a good day. He wouldn't have had one no matter what-it's hard to enjoy yourself when the love of your life is dying of cancer. Even if you were going to save him. And that's exactly what Magnus was going to do. It was close to the time when he'd call it a day and go to see Alec, but he was using every last second. He was considering making a potion before he left-it would be arduous, but if he hurried, he could take it with him. His phone rang.

It was his basic ringtone for all unknown numbers, and he answered it dully, "Hello?"

"M-Magnus Bane?" the voice was female, and unfamiliar.

He scowled at the phone. He _hated_ interruptions, but especially when he was TRYING TO FIND A CURE FOR CANCER!

"What do you want?" he snarled into the phone.

"I-I... um, the Clave said that, um, that you were going to be working with me?"

Magnus' shoulders slumped. He'd forgotten about the stupid Clave sending him someone to work with. They said that it would help inter-country relations. They said they were sending him the apprentice to the High Witch of Reykjavik. Apparently they wanted some contacts in Iceland. Magnus had no idea _why_, but you didn't really refuse a request from the Clave.

"Are you the apprentice to the High Witch of Reykjavik?" he asked gruffly, gathering the ingredients for the potion.

"Y-Yes. Well, more like all of Iceland. It's a stunningly small space. My name is Catherine Andor." the voice said, and Magnus could detect a small hint of an accent.

"I'm a little busy right now, could you-"

"I'm sorry! Oh my God, I knew this was a bad idea, I just... I wanted to tell you that they want me to go to your apartment next Friday-if that's okay?" Catherine babbled.

"That's fine. I'll see you then. Bye." And Magnus hung up, immediately forgetting about the witch and their appointment. He carefully tipped a vial into the goblet on his desk, sending a silent prayer to Raziel that this would work...

**~X~**

Alec woke up quite suddenly, thanks to a grumpy nurse slamming the door as she left. The iPod was still on, the singer wailing something about dying slowly. Alec shut it off, stretching and yawning in the bed. The aching had returned full force, and he felt a twinge of the previous pain. It didn't surprise him. He could only imagine that Magnus' magic was wearing off.

He felt kind of guilty for letting Magnus use his magic on him. He knew that Magnus wanted to save him-and Angel knew he didn't want to die, but... there was a small part of him, a tiny pessimistic part, that wondered if any of it would help? Or would Alec just waste away, taking Magnus with him? What if something happened and Magnus didn't have enough magic... Alec squeezed his eyes shut as a wave of nausea overtook him. He couldn't help but worry. He loved Magnus, he didn't want anything to ever happen to him... but he didn't want to leave him.

Alec sat up then, reaching towards the sliding table thing **(A/N: I have no idea what this is called. It's the thing that's kind of shaped like a sideways U, and one part goes under the hospital bed, and the top part you can put stuff on, and there's usually like a shelf on the side... anyway.)**, and pulled it closer to him. It held his cell phone, wallet, and some seemingly random things. They were the things he'd asked his mom to bring from home (she had bullied her way past the nurses this morning for an hour or two that morning). There was a tiny stuffed frog (Max had given it to him for his thirteenth birthday, back when Max was four and lisping); a glittery, fuzzy rainbow pillow (quite obviously a gift from Magnus, for their 4-month anniversary); and a shiny button that proclaimed: Nothing Less Than 7 Inches (he'd had a stroke of inspiration and made Isabelle buttons with her sayings on them. This one was kept for nostalgic reasons-the first one he made, it was spattered with his blood).

He looked at the tray on the table, which undoubtedly held food. Breakfast had been dismal-looking eggs, dry toast, and pulpy orange juice. He _hated _pulp. He wasn't that hungry, but he knew he had to eat. He lifted the lid, prepared to be revolted. To his immense surprise, the food actually looked... non-nauseating. There was a crisp-looking apple, an open-faced turkey sandwich, celery and ranch dip, and a brownie. He quickly ate, enjoying the food for the first time in... a long time, he realized with a pang. For the longest time he'd eaten merely out of need-not out of desire. How long had this been affecting him?

Apparently longer than he'd thought.

He thought over the past few days, weeks... he remembered going out to Taki's, and ordering... salad? Going out with Magnus, ordering... a fruit cup? He remembered Magnus teasing him about being anorexic, and him scowling and ordering a porterhouse steak, eating it viciously while glaring at the still-laughing Magnus. He remembered time after time of avoided eating, because he wasn't hungry, because... because he'd felt nauseous.

And with those memories, more and more came to him. Memories of flashes of pain, ignored and excused-telling himself it was a pulled muscle, or something else easily explained. Telling himself it was anything other than something to worry about. Alec's eyes began to water, and he swiped at them angrily as he chewed on a celery stick. If he'd... if he'd figured it out before, would he have been able to face this head on? Would he have been able to beat the cancer?

The tears came faster now, and he abandoned his lunch, curling up on his side, ignoring the throbbing in his side. He was sorry. He wanted to apologize to everyone-to Magnus, to his mom, Jace, Izzy, dad... everyone. This was his fault. He... he should have figured it out. But... he'd heard the doctor talking. He'd heard him saying that pancreatic cancer was almost always incurable... maybe even if he'd gotten it checked earlier.

Just as quickly as they'd come, the tears disappeared. He sat up, feeling oddly rested. Cancer sucked-it made him feel all out of whack. He pushed the celery away, instead biting into the apple. It was crisp, just as he'd suspected. He chewed on it, looking idly out the window.

It was sunny, not a cloud in sight. On a normal day, Magnus would be bugging him to go for a walk with him, and Alec would put up a fight, pretending that he really wanted to just stay in and watch TV, but after a few minutes of mock-arguing, he'd give in and they'd go to the park. Magnus would magic up a frisbee, and they'd play for a while, and for that amount of time, Alec would forget about everything else. For that amount of time, there would be no demons, no worries... just a two lovers, enjoying the day.

As Alec was musing on this, Magnus slipped through the door. He looked over, and visibly brightened when he saw him.

"Magnus!"

Magnus grinned at him, sitting at the edge of his bed and dropping a bag next to it.

"Alec! I missed you, darling." Magnus said, slipping his arms around Alec, burying his mouth in the other boys neck.

"Mmm, I missed you too," Alec murmured, letting his head fall against Magnus'. For a long moment they just sat there, holding each other, enjoying this... somewhat normal feeling.

Magnus pulled back, though he kept one arm around Alec. He reached across the room, grabbing his bag and pulling it over to them.

"I brought the things you asked for." he said, unzipping it.

"Did you feed Chairman Meow?"

Magnus rolled his eyes, "Yes, I remembered to feed _my_ cat. He's going to get fat, you know."

Alec shrugged, "I'd rather he be fat than anorexic."

"...You are aware you're talking about a _cat_, right? Two weeks ago he ate a sock."

Alec ignored him, just smiling as he pulled things out of the bag. Toiletries, a few articles of clothing, glitter, some pictures, a-

"Magnus... why is there glitter here?" Alec asked suspiciously, holding up a container of bluish glitter.

"...Something to remind you of your gorgeous boyfriend?" Magnus said hopefully, grinning at him.

Alec gave him a small smile in return, setting the glitter on the bedside table, right where he could see it. Magnus gave him a satisfied smile, and they continued unpacking.

~X~

Maryse Lightwood stood in front of her sons hospital room. In a few moments, she would enter the room. She'd smile, and make small talk, assuring him that everything was going to be alright. But it wouldn't. And that knowledge weighed heavily on her, threatening to crush her under the weight of her knowledge. Why the hell couldn't the doctor just have lied. Told her that Alec would be fine. Why _couldn't_ he just be fine. It wasn't fair-she'd lost so much already... She'd already lost one son. Did God have to make her lose two?

She rested her head on the wall beside the door, allowing herself only this lone moment of grief. She couldn't fall apart-she could never be weak. She had to be the strong one, the statue. She had Alec, Isabelle, Jace, and her husband.

And Magnus. He was the only one whose suffering could even come close to hers. At first, she'd doubted whether his love for her son was real, was truthful... but now, she saw it. In Magnus' eyes. When the doctor had given his prognosis... his eyes held the worst pain she'd ever seen. As if he was dying, from the inside out. When he'd come back from... wherever he'd been, when he'd curled up on the bed with Alec... his eyes only held sadness, pure devastation. And the kind of love people went their entire life searching for.

With that final thought, Maryse Lightwood straightened up, eyes now dry, self now completely under control. Magnus was no doubt already in there-the nurses had mentioned something about someone 'colorful' visiting, and, well, there was really only one person she knew who could be described as 'colorful'. And that was Magnus.

Even though she was expecting there to be a glittery warlock in her sons room, she was _not _expecting for the entire room to be... transformed. Magnus had, apparently, heard Alec was going to be here for a while, and decided to help him... decorate.

Alec had a pretty nice and large, private room, and they'd decorated... all of it. Photos were propped up on almost every flat surface-the dresser, the bedside table, and the other little table in the corner. There was also a lot of flowers, and stuffed animals. And glitter. There was glitter on about 60% of every new thing in the room. Glittery picture frames, glittery vases, and glittery stuffed animals. It was... odd, to say the least.

Alec was asleep, or so it seemed, and Magnus was no where to be seen, so Maryse took this opportunity to look at the pictures. She started at the dresser-there was a picture of Isabelle and Alec, the former wearing a _lot_ of makeup and a tiny dress, with Alec looking extremely uncomfortable standing beside his posing sister. There was a picture of Alec and Magnus on the couch, Alec looking the most comfortable she'd ever seen him, wrapped in his boyfriend's arms. There was a picture of Alec and Magnus, lying in a bed together (dressed, thankfully) with a... with a small cat between them. Then there was a picture she didn't even remember being taken, of her and Robert standing beside Magnus and Alec, with everyone but Magnus looking uncomfortable. To be truthful, Robert was probably only uncomfortable looking because Magnus (wearing pink pants and a tight yellow tank top) had his arm around his shoulder-trying to be friendly, no doubt.

The ones on the table were various shots of Jace, Clary, and Isabelle. There was one of Isabelle and the vampire friend of Clary, and they looked... a little too friendly for Maryse's comfort.

Finally, she looked at the ones on the bedside table. These all were obviously important to Alec, and more personal. Maryse felt almost as if she were invading her sons privacy. There was a picture of him and Magnus kissing, a picture of the two of them curled up around each other, laughing at the camera... And there was a picture of Max. It was an old picture-well, it was actually about the most recent one of him they had. Max was grinning at the camera, and he looked... so young. Maryse bit her lip harshly, fighting against tears.

"You look just like him."

She jerked away, turning to see Magnus standing at the other side of the bed, having just come in through the door. He held (yet another) vase full of multicolored flowers.

"Wh-who?" she asked, her heartbeat slowly returning to normal.

"Alec. When he tries not to cry-he does that lip biting thing too." Magnus said, setting the vase down on the table.

"Does he do that a lot? Cry, I mean?"

Magnus sighed, looking wistfully out of the window, "Not too often. When we walk past a playground, or when it was near Max's birthday. Sometimes he'll just... catch sight of something, and... it'll remind him."

Maryse felt that nagging stab of guilt yet again, "I... I never noticed."

"He... he hid it well." Magnus said in a low voice, touching her arm in a comforting gesture.

She shook her head, clearing it of the depressing thoughts, "How is he doing today?"

Magnus sighed, running his hand through his hair-which she realized, with a jolt, was plain colored and loose.

"He's... better in some ways, worse in others. He ate lunch, which is good, and he seemed more energized when I came to visit him, but then he got tired... very quickly. The doctors are saying that the cancer has spread... they want to start him on chemotherapy tomorrow."

"Have you... I mean, _can_ you..." Maryse stumbled over her words, but, luckily, Magnus got the gist of what she meant.

"I... I tried the routine spells last night. They helped for an hour or so, but then they stopped. I did a bunch of them, right after each other, and they lasted until morning... but they were just pain suppressants, basically. I gave him a potion... type thing I made earlier, but he fell asleep two minutes after drinking it-I'm pretty sure that was just regular exhaustion... I can't wait for him to wake up... I hope... I hope it helps." Magnus collapsed into one of the hospital's cheap chairs.

"So you... decorated?" Maryse changed the subject yet again.

"I put stuff places, Alec told me where to." Magnus said, smiling at the sleeping boy.

"There's a lot of... glitter." Maryse said.

"Well, what did you expect? I think Alec is _finally_ starting to appreciate the wonder that is glitter."

"You talkin' about me?" Alec said sleepily, yawning and stretching, then wincing and stopping the movement.

"The potion didn't work." Magnus said, his tone depressed.

"M-Maybe it's helping in other ways! I feel rested!" Alec said, anxious to cheer Magnus up again.

"Thank you Alec, but... I think that it's probably because you just slept that you feel rested... not because of the potion. Don't worry, though-I have many other things I can try!" Magnus said, although it was obvious his cheer was forced.

"Mom... when did you get here?" Alec said, pushing himself up into a sitting position.

"Just a few minutes ago. I was just telling Magnus how... wonderful your room looks." she smiled at him.

Alec gave her a weak grin back, reaching out for a sparkly stuffed turtle, "Magnus likes to go all out. There is no such thing, for him, as too much color. Or glitter."

Magnus grinned proudly, "Exactly. I told you, Maryse, he is learning the wonder of glitter."

Alec just rolled his eyes at Magnus and spoke to his mother, "How is... everyone? Isabelle... and Jace, and dad?"

"They're... fine. Quite worried about you. They were going to come along, but right before we left there was a call about some Urzu demons terrorizing the park on Fifth. Isabelle and Jace went to go take care of it. Your father will be here in a few hours." Maryse smiled at him, although it was strained.

Alec gave her a look, but dropped it as the world seemed to tilt for a moment. Between the doctors pumping him full of medication, and Magnus pumping him full of magic, his body felt like a rag doll's. His eyes skidded across the room, giving the vaguest of winces when he realized that Magnus had done quite a bit of decorating when he was sleeping. The last he'd seen the room there'd only been three flower displays (now there was around 20), a lot less photos, and three stuffed animals (Magnus had won them for him at a carnival. Now there was around ten-at least).

They all sat in silence for a few long minutes, but it was not... entirely... awkward. It was a far ways from being entirely comfortable, but it wasn't bad.

Then Jace and Isabelle came in, the former ranting something about damn demons. They both stopped in the doorway, staring around the room, but simply shrugged and continued in, now used to Magnus'... glitter and flair. It was strange how much you could get used.

At first, it was obvious that Isabelle and Jace were treading on eggshells around Alec. They spoke to him brightly about things they never would have spoke of before. It wasn't lost on Alec, however, how they deftly avoided topics of the future, of anything that would give him hope he would be alive in a week, a month, a year.

It was the most depressing hours of his life-only multiplied when his father shuffled into the room, making forced small talk about the weather and glitter and the like. It was strained and uncomfortable, and Alec had to try and seem sorry when his family finally left. A small part of him insisted that he should bring the cancer up-should try and get them to talk to him about it, but... if he was dying-and he knew he was dying-then he wanted them to remember him nicely. He wasn't going to make them uncomfortable just for him... he was going to die anyway, whether they talked about it or not.

"I'll be back tonight, Alec, I promise." Magnus vowed as he pressed a kiss to Alec's forehead and left.

Alec nodded weakly, the ever-present exhaustion enveloping yet again.

He welcomed the darkness.

**Ooookay, there it is. Next chapter there's going to be a slight time jump-just a little over a week. Otherwise this would get really boring, really fast. Just giving you fair warning!**

**P.S.-just realized the insanity of this, I'm working on 3 (THREE!) multi-chapter stories. At one time. So yeah, updating is getting a little crazy. I start school next Monday, which I am NOT looking forward to, so I'm going to be trying to finish this story in the next week. In case I didn't mention that before-this isn't going to get to 10 chapters. Maybe around six. Then I'll start work on the sequel.**

**ANYWAY-Review!**


	4. Chapter 4: Delicate

**Okay, you want to hear something insane? I wrote the first 900 words of this in September. Then I was having major writers block on this (more on that in a little bit), and then tonight I sat down and opened it up and BANG. The rest of this just popped out. I am **_**so**_** trying that on FHFL tomorrow...**

**I apologize for the HUGE wait between updates. I have excuses, but they are weak. The truth is that I've found a MAJOR plot hole in this. I mean, I won't be able to really write anymore until I fix it. Which is where you come in, wonderful readers. I need someone to help me out, help me try to fix said gaping plot hole. This person would end up knowing not only how this story ends, but how the plot of the sequel as well. I need someone who can put a little time and effort into helping me.**

**One more (quick) thing. I made up another character in this chapter. I don't know where she came from. But she's only going to show up **_**maybe**_** once or twice more, and once in the sequel. She's not going to even get a last name.**

**Alright. Here it is:**

The next week and a half passed most the same way, with a few exceptions. On Wednesday Alec started chemotherapy. On Sunday he scratched his head and came away with a clump of hair. On Wednesday, a week after he started chemo, he told Magnus he wanted to shave his head.

Magnus sat in his apartment Tuesday night, carefully packing to leave. He'd bought Alec the best shaver he could find-actually bought, just as he was actually packing. He put so much of his magic into trying to heal Alec that he didn't want to waste any more doing simple tasks.

He set down the razor, and let his head fall into his hands. The day that Alec had told him that his hair was falling out... Magnus had denied it, had told Alec he was simply exaggerating. But... when he'd run a hand through Alec's hair... those messy curls that had enticed him from the first moment he'd seen them... came out. Fell out, dark hair on the stark white pillowcase. Something inside him had broken in that moment... he'd thought he was as broken as he could get when they said Alec had cancer... but apparently not. The sight of the hair on the pillow had killed Magnus inside, because it only confirmed that he was failing.

Failing miserably. His spells hadn't done anything to help Alec-or at least nothing that modern medicine had already done. The chemotherapy was killing the cancer, but it was killing Alec too. Slowly, and silently. Alec just seemed to be fading away. It wasn't supposed to be that way-the few times that Magnus had been depressed enough to think of Alec's death... it had been sudden, at the hands of a demon... not like this. Alec shouldn't have to suffer, just wasting away in a hospital room waiting to die... it wasn't an honorable death-it was, as far as Magnus saw it, but he knew that, in some twisted way, Alec would have rather died at the hands of a demon.

Magnus zipped up the suitcase roughly, blinking back tears. He'd cried too much since Alec had been diagnosed. Way too much. He felt like someone was trying to carve out his heart... and they were doing a damn good job of it. Alec _was_ his heart, in every way that mattered. Alec was his... everything. The thought of Alec dying... it felt like someone had already carved out his heart, and thrown it away. The very thought of his death made Magnus want to die himself.

**~X~**

It was Thursday morning, and Alec Lightwood was staring out the window at the grey skies. Magnus had left a few minutes ago, and Alec was... drifting. His body felt like a sack of flour, dead and useless. Every part of him ached, _hurt_.

It was almost enough to make him grin. He'd worked so hard-so _hard_-to make himself strong, tough... untouchable. Before he met Magnus he wouldn't have imagined ever hurting. His parents and Isabelle hadn't seen it-he'd worked too hard to conceal it. He cared for them, yes, but he'd distanced himself on purpose. Because if anything happened to them... he had to be able to go on. He _had_ to. So there had been a small part of him that watched everything with a vague sense of detachment. He hadn't been able to do it fully-he loved them too much. But until Magnus...

Until Magnus he had never imagined being able to love someone so much. He'd die for Magnus, yes, but he'd die for Jace or Izzy too. For Magnus he would... he would smile through anything. For Magnus he would pretend that everything was alright. It was instinctive-he wanted, _needed_, to protect Magnus from anything even vaguely uncomfortable. When Magnus was in a room, he automatically moved to protect him, even though he knew Magnus could more than hold his own in a fight.

When Magnus was there, Alec could have a knife through his heart, and he'd smile and console Magnus. When Magnus was there, Alec didn't care what he was feeling, what hurt or ached or irritated... When Magnus was there, Alec cared about nothing other than _him_, other than Magnus, other than making sure he was safe and happy and alright.

Alec had never felt this type of over protectiveness for anyone before... he'd never _fathomed_ it. He loved Magnus more than life itself, and that sent a tiny pulse through his entire body, and he shifted slightly, the lightest of groans leaving his lips. He wanted to scream, he wanted to cry and screech and batter himself bloody against the door... but he couldn't. He could barely even let out that tiny groan...

The strangest part was that every once in a while, he'd wake up feeling fine. He'd be able to sit up and talk with Magnus, laugh and joke around, and he could pretend that nothing had ever changed. That nothing would ever change. But he had to face facts.

He was dying, trapped in this shell of a body. He knew he was going to die, he accepted it as a fact. The idea of dying didn't scare him-he was a Shadowhunter, it was a threat he'd faced every day since he fought his first fight at 14. The knowledge that he was going to die, like this, here, soon, didn't scare him either. But he was scared. He was terrified, scared to his core. No, not of death. Of leaving Magnus... of never looking into those eyes again, of never seeing them light up...

Alec was scared.

**~X~**

"I-I know you said you didn't want any wigs or for me to-to use any magic for a glamour, but... I brought you these hats, just-just in case you..." Magnus trailed off, unable to continue his line of thought.

"It's alright Magnus. Y-You don't have to be here, I could-" Alec paused to take a shaky breath, "-I could get one of the nurses, or my mom to-"

"No." Magnus was resolute, "I have to do this, Alec. I have to do... I have to help."

"You are helping, Magnus. You really are." Alec gave him what he hoped was a reassuring smile, but in reality was more of a twisted grimace.

Magnus slid onto the bed next to him, stroking his cheek and smiling sadly down at him.

"Don't lie, Alec. I know. I know it's hard."

Alec squeezed his eyes shut, willing away the tears, "Please, Magnus... you _are_ helping."

And he was. Despite it all, what Alec wanted more than ever from Magnus right now was companionship. He needed someone to hold his hand and kiss him and tell him that everything was going to be okay. Someone to lie to him. Yes, he desperately needed someone to lie to him. Although he wished that they _knew_ that they were lying to him. He knew that Magnus actually believed that he would be alright.

Magnus was still smiling down at him, touching his cheek gently-so gently, as if Alec were made of breakable porcelain.

"How would you like me to do it?" Magnus asked, holding up the razor.

Alec let out a breath and directed him. Within five minutes Magnus was shaving off Alec's hair. With each dark curl that fell onto the bedclothes, an identical tear rolled down Magnus' cheek. Alec was much more composed, not wavering in his resolve as his hair disappeared.

At last they were finished, and Magnus cleaned up the hair as Alec laid back on the bed, reaching on arm up to run his fingers over his now-shaven head.

**~X~**

By the time Maryse Lightwood got there, Alec was wearing a black knit cap (well, black interspersed with glittery yarn) and he was sleeping. She stopped in the doorway, one hand covering her heart as she watched her son-so small, so tiny and delicate, surrounded by blankets.

"He-he wanted to shave it. It was falling out... he wanted to shave it." Magnus' voice was scratchy, and he looked like hell warmed over.

"He..." Maryse couldn't speak; she could only stare as the warlock moved to stroke Alec's face, the smaller boy leaning in almost imperceptibly to the touch.

She set down her purse on the table and moved to stand beside Magnus.

"I didn't know... it was getting so..." she didn't know what to say.

But, as it turned out, that spoke more than anything to Magnus.

At first she didn't notice it, as they were both looking at Alec. It was just a trembling. Then it was shaking. And when she turned to look at Magnus, it was big, racking sobs.

"M-Magnus!" she said, shocked at the sudden show of emotion from the normally composed warlock.

"I tried-oh Angel, I tried. Over and over, every little thing I could do. All the spells, all the rituals-none of them are working!" he sobbed, sinking to sit on the floor, "What's the use of being a warlock when _nothing_ works?"

Maryse knelt beside him, reaching out to tentatively touch his shoulder. His head snapped up, locking eyes with her.

"I'm so sorry, Maryse. I tried... I swear, I tried. I love him so much. I wish it was me-I wish it was me, not him. I would do anything-anything! Please, please forgive me, I can't-"

She embraced him, her motherly instinct causing her to react to a young (well, technically old, but he _looked _young) person in distress. She held him close as he sobbed into her shoulder, continuing his chanting of 'I can't'.

At last he stopped, and he straightened up slightly, sniffing and wiping at his face.

"Don't feel guilty, Magnus," Maryse said in a low voice, "I know, I know you're doing all you can. Alec knows it too. What he needs now is someone who will be there for him, someone to make him feel loved."

Magnus looked up at her and nodded, his eyes still swimming with tears.

**~X~**

Alec drifted in and out of sleep for the rest of the day, waking up to eat a few bites of the bland, tasteless chicken soup served for dinner, and to see Isabelle and Jace. They both split their time between here and the Institute-trying to fit in training and Shadowhunting around visiting hours. Both were taking Alec's illness very hard.

For Isabelle she dropped everything other than work and being with Alec. No parties, no dates, nothing. Her greatest fear since losing Max had been losing Alec, and it was consuming her. She would just sit and stare at him, trying to commit every second into memory. She cursed herself for wasting so much time with trivial things-instead she should've spent that time with Alec.

With Jace it was almost the opposite. He threw himself into everything else, trying to lose himself in the beat of music at Pandemonium, or getting into fistfights with werewolves. But every afternoon he would make sure to be home to shower and clean up, visiting Alec with cocky smile in place. His guilt was crushing him on the inside. He thought of all the times he ignored Alec, choosing instead to spend time with Clary or alone.

Alec was, thankfully, blissfully, unaware of all of this. Perhaps if this had happened at the start of his illness he would've noticed. But now he was barely aware they were there at all. He woke up for about an hour right before visiting hours ended, Magnus sitting beside him reading a book, Jace talking to Maryse in low tones, and Isabelle staring at him. _That_ was a little creepy, but Alec just smiled and asked to be caught up on the goings on around the Institute.

His father also came, having handed the reigns of the Institute over to another visiting Shadowhunter.

Robert Lightwood considered himself an alright father. Admittedly, he couldn't claim to have 'known' that Alec was gay as some of the books seemed to claim he would. He'd actually been pretty sure Alec was 100% heterosexual. After all, he fought demons. It seemed like a pretty heterosexual thing to do. But now... now he couldn't imagine ever _not_ accepting Alec for who he was. Especially now.

He could see the was Alec and Magnus were around each other-the way Magnus openly doted on the younger boy, the way his eyes never left him for long. Even now, he seemed to alternate reading parts of his spell book and watching Alec.

There was no way Robert could never not accept anything that made his son so... happy. Especially now, as Alec lay so small and shrunken in the bed, surrounded by voluminous folds of blankets. Alec's eyes fluttered open, immediately going to Magnus. A small smile graced his face.

By the time visiting hours were over, Alec looked exhausted and was almost asleep again. Everyone said their goodbyes, and they saw Magnus off. They all noticed that the warlock was looking more haggard than normal. There were dark shadows under his eyes, visible even through the concealer he'd smeared on. His clothes were wrinkled, and he wore just a white t-shirt and faded jeans. There was not a trace of glitter to be found. But he merely waved away their concerns and disappeared quickly into the crowd.

**~X~**

Magnus was splitting his time between two things. Well, actually, he was looking for a cure for Alec's cancer, and when he thought he couldn't do any more, he was making contingency plans.

A part of him hated doing that, because it meant that he didn't have complete and utter faith that Alec would get better-which he did. But he... he had to know that there would be something for him as well.

The multiple attempted assassination attempts on him over the years had proved to him that he was immortal. He just needed a way to _undo_that immortality. He knew that none of the normal things would work. Pills would be neutralized by his magic, and he would automatically heal any cuts that were made. What he needed was to completely exhaust his magic reserves and _then_...

It would work. He was sure of it.

So he searched his books for more spells (he had a _lot_ of books...), and as he searched, another part of his brain was running through things he could do to exhaust his magic. He could... try to take on the fairy court? No, that would get him imprisoned before he could actually do anything. He could...

His mind continued working as he flipped through spellbooks, making notations and marking pages. He stopped at several spells, gathering tools needed to try those spells that night. At last, with about an hour before he would leave to go back to Alec, he fed Chairman Meow, ate a small dinner himself, and dozed off with his head in a book.

**X~**

Alec woke up before Magnus made it back, feeling strangely energized. He nibbled on some crackers, flipped through a book, and finally decided to attempt getting out of bed.

For the first time in almost a week, he was able to do so without pain and a struggle.

Alec grabbed onto the IV pole, making his way to the door. He looked around for nurses and, seeing none, he slipped out of the room. He wasn't sure _why_, but he just wanted to get _out_. He was used to being in and out of the Institute at all times of the day and night, and to staying at Magnus' apartment. Being at the hospital for over a week had given him _definite_ cabin fever.

Alec slipped down the hallway, stopping to gaze into a room with wall-to-wall windows. It showed the beautiful blues and startling pinks of the sunset reflecting off of the East River. The only other occupants were an old man asleep over a book and a young teenage girl bent over a notebook.

He stepped towards the window, entranced by the colors. The sunset brought back memories of sitting with Magnus and watching as the colors changed. He remembered how Magnus would point out all the different colors, the different shades that all swirled together...

"Beautiful, isn't it?"

The voice made him tense, but he turned to see the only other (awake) occupant of the room. He nodded shakily.

"Yeah..." he said, gazing out over the river yet again.

"I love the way it looks over the river... the water kind of reflects it, so you have twice the beauty." the girl said, shifting slightly, her hands moving quickly over her notebook.

Alec nodded slightly, moving to sit near her. The interaction with someone who wasn't a nurse, a member of his family, or Magnus, was refreshing.

"What are you doing?" he asked, nodding towards her notebook, which she was still scribbling furiously in.

She smiled and held it up, showing that it was a sketchbook, and a perfect copy of the sunset which they'd just been looking at. He complimented her on it, and she flipped it to show him that the book was nearly filled with pictures of sunsets.

"I started it the first day I was here. I'd never seen the sunset over a river before, and I wanted to commemorate it."

Alec frowned, realizing that with all of those pictures...

"How long have you been here?"

The girl smiled wryly, "Almost two months. I have another sketchbook."

"T-Two months?" Alec exclaimed, shifting slightly and wincing as a cramp formed in his stomach.

"Yeah. It kind of sucks. But, eh, what are you going to do?" she pressed one of the colors with her thumb, swiping it across the horizon line, blending the colors together.

The room was darkening, and Alec shot a quick glance over at the slumbering man.

"That's Mr. Allen. He always comes in right after lunch and usually falls right asleep. A nurse comes in to wake him up later. I'm Allison, by the way."

"Alec."

Sure enough, about two minutes later a nurse came in and woke Mr. Allen, leading him out into the hallway.

Then they talked more, about the hospital food and the nurses, gradually starting in on deeper subjects, until he found himself telling her about his wonderful boyfriend, Magnus. She insisted on him telling her all the 'details', although he left out anything having to do with magic or Shadowhunting.

At last he found himself yawning, and his eyelids growing heavier. He excused himself, promising to come back tomorrow. Just before he left, she slipped a paper into his hands. He recognized it was one she'd been working on when they were talking.

It was a copy of her sunset. He looked at her questioningly, and she grinned up at him.

"You told me you couldn't see it from your room. Now you can. Just look at it and imagine you're with Magnus, even when you're alone."

He hugged her (carefully, because one, he still wasn't all that comfortable with randomly hugging people and two, because the pain was back), and set out for his room. It seemed to take him twice as long, and before he was even halfway there a nurse found him and got him a wheelchair, taking him back to his room.

He was settled in his bed, she checked his vitals, and left. Almost immediately Magnus appeared from the corner.

"Where have you been! I was out of my _mind_ with worry about you!" Magnus chastised as he tucked the blankets more securely around Alec and fussed around him.

"I just... went for a little walk. I... met another patient... nice girl... can you hang this up for me?" Alec asked, holding out the drawing. It took all his strength, but even so his arm only lifted an inch or two from the bed.

Magnus took it from him and hung it close by. He began to speak again, but Alec was already drifting off.

**Okay. There it is. How was it? I know it's kind of filler-y, but that's mainly because of previously mentioned gaping plot hole.**

**Review!**


	5. Chapter 5: Devestate

**I am sorry for the lack of updates. I had a lot of schoolwork, and then there was some family drama I had to deal with before I felt like writing. But I'm on break now, and although I have a lot of plans (cleaning, shopping, and sleeping), I also plan on writing. :)**

**I have no idea about what I'm writing-seriously. So if I get any facts wrong, please tell me. I like giving the little bits of backstory (like with the spellbook from the Icelandic warlock and the grimoire by Alan Tudor). Also-I have no idea if Lancome makes that type of eyeliner, or what it looks like. I made it up.**

**There will most likely only be one more chapter after this, a short (less than 1000 words, most likely) epilogue, and then the sequel. The title of the sequel will be announced with the next chapter.**

**Also, for those of you with a Livejournal, I (finally) made an account on there. I'm Morbidmandy. **

For Alec, the time that passed was like flipping through the pages of a book. Each one blended into the next, until, looking back on them, they were a blur of pain and sorrow.

He saw his pain reflected so tangibly in Magnus' eyes now. Alec remembered faintly how Magnus' eyes always used to glow before-with joy over the simplest things. When Alec would walk into a room, Magnus' entire face would light up-as if Alec were special, as if he were important. But now, Magnus' eyes were dull and pained, the warlock was losing a lot of weight, and his face always stayed in a resolute mask.

For Magnus, time passed slowly when he was away from Alec, and much too quickly when he was with him. He'd met with the warlock girl from Iceland and nearly set her on fire-she was much too perky and smiley, although after hearing about his problem she'd given him an old spellbook she'd received from a Chinese warlock.

The book spoke of spells to heal burn wounds, spells to help knife wounds, and even one that would kill infection. But none that would work on cancer. The only reason he'd kept the book at all was because of a section near the back he was working on translating. It was in an old version of Aramaic. It was a regional dialect spoken in what was now Singapore, and only a few people knew how to read it.

The title had been easy enough to translate-it read, in French and Russian as well as Aramaic: Last Resorts. The title had made Magnus hopeful enough to call in a favor with a vampire he'd helped a few years back-she had grown up in Singapore when she was human, and knew someone who specialized in languages and could help him.

Still he searched for information, following leads that ended up leading to (more often than not) dead ends. Magnus had ended up in several bad situations that caused him to have to call on the full strength of his power, and he'd traded many of his more precious items. A set of throwing stars had gone to a fey with a book on necromantic rituals, an original Picasso had gone to a warlock who'd inherited several grimoires from his professor, and, most devastatingly, he'd lost a ruby necklace that had belonged to a distant relation of his to a warlock who had been able to give him a set of diaries that belonged to the famed Elias Telienne, a renowned warlock who had specialized in healing magics.

But nothing had worked.

Yet.

**~X~**

Magnus was now sitting in a cluttered bookstore on the East side, waiting patiently (or, rather, impatiently) for the proprietor to come out. She was a woman of about 47, no-nonsense and brisk. She was blessed with the Sight from a young age thanks to getting caught in the middle of two Warlocks posturing. She'd incorporated a 'Downworlder' section into her store since she'd opened, and several of his leads had led to the books being sold here.

"Ah, High Warlock Bane. Come with me." a young girl with a pretty face and milky irises called, beckoning to him. He followed the blind girl to a back room, where she called in, "Here he is, mother. I'll man the register."

The older lady replied with a non-committal sound, and Magnus entered the room. Stunned, he stopped for a moment in the doorway before looking around.

There were wall-to-wall shelves crammed full with books. Different subsections had different headings: Vampire, Werewolf, Fairy, Warlock, Shadowhunter. The Vampire section took up two bookcases, while the fairy had half a shelf.

The woman left with a box of books, instructing him to look around for a bit. He felt a little put out-why couldn't she have just let him in there in the first place. But he swallowed his words a perused the Warlock section.

By the time she returned to check on him, he'd found two books he needed, one grimoire that was old, battered, and written in runes but looked promising, and one book from the Fairy section that was so interesting looking that he couldn't help but grab it as well.

He paid for the books in books of his own-wincing only slightly as he handed over a hand-written spell book and an illustrated book of offensive spells.

At last he set off for home, silently pleading to an unknown God that _one_ of these books would work.

~X~

Two hours later he had discarded two of the books as utterly useless, and the grimoire as being too worrisome-there was a spell in there that he _knew _would cause the sufferer horrible boils, yet it was listed as a preventative measure for pregnancy.

He had less than 30 minutes before he was to go and see Alec, so he settled down with the book of the Fair Folk.

It was interesting enough during the first half, talking about the dangers of owing favors to fairies and speaking a bit on their history (it was better than Gossip Girl-High Prince Anthos had an illegitimate child with a vampire girl-OMG!), but it wasn't until the second part when he came upon something that both intrigued him and chilled him to the bone.

It was an ancient ritual-only rumored, and never confirmed due to the lack of knowledge/motivation by the general fairy population... for fairies to be granted magic by a child of Lillith.

It chilled him to the bone because he _knew_ it could be done. In his research he'd read several 'fables' of super-powerful halflings-fairies with magic as well. They were treated as ludicrous in every place he'd heard of him, much the way this ritual was treated in the book.

But together... he could easily see it being used. The warlock had to be willing, and powerful enough to give the fairy magic without draining his own. It was complicated, but it seemed viable.

Setting it aside as an intresting but altogether useless (at least right now) fact, Magnus stretched and left for the hospital, not noticing that his hair had a tangle in the back or that his eyeliner was the same smeared stuff he'd worn last night.

**~X~**

Alec's eyelids fluttered as he lay in bed-Clary had come to visit, looking tiny and alone without Jace there beside her. She'd sobbed when he told her that her and Jace had his blessing-he hadn't thought much of it, he'd merely been trying to stay awake by talking about anything that came into his mind. Admittedly, talking about his ill-fated crush on Jace hadn't been the cleverest thing to do, but he had, and there was nothing to be done for it now.

She'd cried so hard, managing to get out in between sobs that she'd been feeling guilty for avoiding him (which caused him to feel guilty that he hadn't noticed she'd been avoiding him), and that she'd thought that it was a 'Family Issue' until Isabelle had called her and screamed at her for not visiting Alec. Apparently even Jace had been standoffish to her.

After sobbing this all out to him she'd looked chastised, fluffing his pillows and offering to go and get him takeout. His stomach protested at the idea of food, but he agreed, knowing she needed time to compose herself, and the walk from here to Taki's would do her well.

Once she'd left, Alec had collapsed back onto the bed, exhausted simply from attempting to keep up the pretense of normalcy. Sleep eluded him, though-apparently that was a side-effect of the new treatment they had him on. Insomnia. So he grabbed at the remote, flicking past sports (it just depressed him, realizing that he would never be able to run and kick a soccer ball around with Jace... or let Izzy beat him in tennis), and finally settling on a show full of singing teenagers. He winced slightly as one girl began screeching about getting a solo, turning the show down a bit before settling down to watch.

Clary's return coincided with the end of the show, and she couldn't help the amused grin that graced her face when Alec shushed her while watching with rapt attention as the teens on screen danced along to some Top 10 80's pop song.

The two of them divvied up the food, and watched the next three episodes of the show before Clary left, waving cheerily and promising to be back tomorrow. Alec managed to sleep fitfully for nearly an hour after she left, only to wake up scowling and in a bad mood. Magnus was supposed to be here by 2. It was 1:51. Where _was_ he?

Although Alec knew his anger was irrational, it was enough to fuel him to eat a carton full of dumplings and half-a-carton of vegetable fried rice. He felt slightly sick afterwards, but he contributed that mostly to the fact that by the time he finished eating it was only 1:56.

Magnus swept in a few minutes after 2, apologizing profusely and carrying a thick tome with the words: Grimoire of High Healer Warlock Alan Tudor on the front. Magnus talked with Alec for a few minutes, although it was strained by them both dancing around so many topics that there was little they could actually talk about.

Finally Magnus opened the grimoire and began testing out spells. As Magnus did this, Alec read along. Alan Tudor had apparently been the fifth cousin of Queen Elizabeth, and a healer as well-which meant he used his magic for healing and nothing else. It had been considered a very noble profession back then-and a rather foolish one now. He'd died a few days after his cousin had, having used an arcane ritual to take sickness into himself. He'd allowed Elizabeth a peaceful death, but she had died still, and without much awareness of her surroundings. Alan had been so distraught that he'd burnt several of his books, including the only one with the mention of the ritual he'd used.

Magnus had come upon this Grimoire while searching for that same ritual. Although he had failed rather spectacularly (included was an entire conversation with a bird that he thought was merely a warlock in an animal form, and him accidentally insulting the representative of a werewolf pack from Rhode Island), he had managed to procure this book, and had been delighted to find it filled with many of the more obscure healing spells-including one that promised to cure exhaustion and increase appetite.

Alec was more than a little apprehensive, but simply smiled at Magnus and nodded for him to go ahead. Then he pretended not to mind when he lost everything he'd eaten that day to the trash can.

**~X~**

The appetite-returning spell had been a success, at least. Although Alec was still tired and quite cancerous, he ate two double-bacon-cheeseburgers that Jace brought him. The look of absolute joy on Jace's face had nearly made Alec cry-he never thought that Jace had _really_ cared about him that much.

Magnus had insisted that he eat some fruit as well, so he'd eaten two apples and even half of a pear. At last he was full, and it was shocking how good that felt. For the first time since the doctors had uttered those fateful words, Alec felt something resembling hope.

Magnus, for his part, was feeling slightly less hopeful than Alec. But still more hopeful than he had been. None of the other spells had worked-well, the one had to an extent, helping Alec's breathing. But with the knowledge that none of the 'Tudor spells' would work, Magnus was back to relying on the book with the section written in Aramaic.

The translator was supposed to have it finished by tonight, and it would be delivered to him before noon tomorrow. He'd tried to get it earlier, but there had been no way to do so.

He'd brought one of the Telienne diaries with him, having worked past the first three already. At the very least he was becoming one of the forefront experts in healing magics. Still, he felt useless. With all of his time devoted to finding a cure, he'd been shirking his High Warlock duties. Luckily, Catherine, the apprentice warlock girl (the same one who'd given him the spellbook he was getting translated), was available and willing to take on some of the spillover.

He was grateful, if for no reason other than that it let him focus on Alec... even just watching him talk with Jace as he was now. It was the small things Magnus missed the most-curling up with Alec on the couch, watching Alec coo over Chairman Meow, sharing the last dumpling. Even listening to Alec complain about Magnus' chronically messy bedroom was missed. There was no one there to point out the pair of jeans tossed over the chandelier (why yes, he had a chandelier in his bedroom. What? He _liked_ it.), or the fifteen pairs of shoes he'd shoved in different places around the room.

Magnus stifled a yawn-it was only 4, yet he was exhausted. He'd been forgoing sleep lately, spending his time either solving the problems of the Downworlder population of Brooklyn or searching for a cure. He knew his appearance was suffering-he couldn't remember the last time he'd worn glitter or even put on eyeliner. Well, not _intricate_ eyeliner at least. He'd gotten a shipment a few days ago of the new Lancome eyeliner with diamond chips in it (that he'd paid $250 for because it was _just that good_-and anyway, eyeliner never held up as good when he simply snapped for it), and he hadn't even opened it. He'd taken it out of the box, sure, but that was merely to admire the sterling-silver bottle it came in, the one with the diamond top and...

He was getting distracted. What was he focusing on? Alec. That's right. Magnus let out another yawn as his eyelids began to droop. Maybe... a short... little... nap...

And with that, Magnus fell asleep.

**~X~**

Alec listened as Jace recounted what he called 'My Epic Fight with the Most Evil Dravak Demon Ever'. Alec made sure to nod in the right places, and gasp as Jace described stabbing the demon as Clary and Isabelle distracted it. Well, technically, Jace admitted, Clary tripped and knocked over a trash can, and Isabelle fended off the demon from killing her-but she still helped.

At last Jace had to leave, getting a report of a demon attack a few blocks from the hotel. Sparing one last look at a slumbering Magnus, Jace waved goodbye and left.

Alec let out a relieved breath. He loved his family but he just wasn't used to seeing so much of them. He usually trained with Jace for a few hours, and maybe spent some other time with him, but he wasn't used to actually talking with Jace this much. Which, in retrospect, made his crush all the more ill-advised.

He yawned, snuggling into his blankets. He was tired. But the damned medication was making it impossible for him to sleep. This was probably the worst thing about the hospital-the utter boredom. Well, that, and the lack of _true_ 'alone time' with Magnus.

Alec gazed fondly at his warlock, smiling slightly as Magnus shifted to one side, slouching lower in his seat. He missed Magnus-the old Magnus. The Magnus that would wear seven different colors of glitter and somehow look gorgeous. The Magnus that made him sit through a marathon of Project Runway (Alec had actually had a favorite to win... that alone had shocked him). He loved Magnus no matter what-glitter or no glitter, Project Runway or not. But... he missed the normalcy that he'd cultivated with Magnus. He missed just being able to laugh, freely, without worry that he was being too informal or too loud.

Alec allowed his eyes to close then, and his insomnia gave him a small respite, as he drifted off to sleep.

**~X~**

Magnus awoke with a start, nearly falling off his chair. The room was still, Alec still sleeping peacefully, the sky outside the windows a pink-grey color. A quick glance at the clock told him it was around 7. He mentally berated himself-he had lost nearly 3 hours of Alec-watching time. Damn.

He stretched luxuriously, enjoying the feeling of his joints loosening with his movements. He blinked blearily around the room. He had a little less than an hour before the nurses would kick him out. What to do, what to do?

He decided quickly, and climbed in beside Alec in the hospital bed. Maybe it wasn't the biggest bed, and the sheets were a polyester-cotton blend, not his own canary-yellow silk, but...

Laying there with Alec? Just being able to wrap his arms around him (even if Alec was a lot less muscular and a lot more skinny than before), and nuzzle his head (even if he couldn't bury his face in Alec's beautiful hair), and feeling Alec snuggling into him, letting out a little happy sound as he breathed in Magnus' scent... it felt perfect, it felt amazing, it felt...

It felt like coming home.

**I intended this to be longer but it just... wanted to end here.**

**I want to thank all of my amazing reviewers who kept this story in the forefront of my mind. Special thanks to:**

**MaybeThere'sHope-for helping me with the plothole and general awesomeness**

**lulubell1234-for making me realize there's been a severe lack of Clary in this story. I put a little of her in this chapter just for you :D**

**Mary-your anonymous review was snarky and it kind of made me want to not write anything at all, but I kind of wanted to prove to you that I didn't abandon this.**

**And is it bad that I kind of smile whenever someone says I make them cry? I just love knowing that I can actually produce an emotional response like that from people.**

**ANYWAY, I'm hoping to update again before my break is over, but I make absolutely no promises. Pretty much every deadline I ever set for myself I then immediately broke.**

**Reviews would be amazing :)**


	6. Chapter 6: Deliverance

**Apparently when I go to write reflections, I go super-angsty. A lot of Max Lightwood memories in this one because... well, mainly because he's awesome.**

**So. Last chapter. There's still an epilogue, though. Supermegaultra thanks to everyone who reviewed, extra special thanks to MaybeThere'sHope: seriously, darling, you are beyond amazing. Thank you for helping me with that gaping plothole, encouraging me to write, and entertaining me with all your awesome stories.**

**Also-Ahhh I wrote this all in one day! Considering how long I went without writing any of this, I'm quite proud. Hopefully I'll have the epilogue out soon. And then... THE SEQUEL! But more on that later. For now, enjoy the last (full) chapter of Glitter & Glass:**

When Magnus woke, it was late. The sky outside was the darkest of blacks, and he shivered involuntarily. There was a nurse beside the bed, an older woman with short grey hair and a bright pink and orange smock. He winced internally, but simply gave the woman a tired smile.

"Hi there sweetie, it's a little after visiting hours ended, but we could tell you needed the rest." the nurse said, smiling and patting his hand.

For a moment Magnus was confused-why was she calling him sweetie? Then he realized that, for all appearances, he was a teenager worried about his boyfriend. The hilarity of it-that he was young and delicate-was almost too much for his still-exhausted brain.

The nurse left with a not-so-veiled suggestion that he should leave soon. Magnus stretched, smiling fondly down at Alec. Despite the extreme weight and muscle loss, the lack of hair, and the general bad pallor, Alec looked so beautiful, snuggled into his side and smiling slightly in his sleep. Regretfully, Magnus extracted himself from Alec's embrace, planning on running home to feed Chairman Meow, as he'd forgotten last night and this morning as well, and being back to the hospital in an hour.

He tugged on his coat-frowning slightly as he realized it was last seasons Burberry trench coat. He knew he'd ordered the newest one before Alec got sick-he could still remember his elation at seeing a picture of it, beautiful soft grey wool with big silver and black buttons. The image of a wrapped package on his kitchen counter entered his mind as he realized he'd never even unpacked it. Well, he'd had other things to worry about. Alec, for one.

Magnus tucked Alec back in, touching his lips to the side of his head in a silent promise to come back later.

"Magnus?" Alec asked in a sleepy voice, turning slightly to look up at him.

"Don't worry darling, I'll be back in a few hours. Go back to sleep, shhh..." Alec smiled sleepily and nodded.

"Bye, Magnus." Alec calls, shutting his eyes again.

"Goodbye, my darling Alec."

With that Magnus left, nodding to the nurses, sharing the elevators with a doctor, and finally entering the chilly nighttime air. His walk home was cold and long, and made him consider-for the umpteenth time-if it wouldn't be easier to just take a taxi. But that would mean waiting for one... and _paying..._

And by the time he was cold enough think about actually catching one, he was half a block from home. He entered with a sigh, dumping food into Chairman Meow's bowl (the cat gave him a remorseful meow and a quick snuggle), and entering his bedroom to change. However, he only got as far as collapsing on the bed before he fell into a deep and dreamless sleep.

**~X~**

Clary was at home with her mother, listening idly as her mother outlined some fine points of not being a Shadowhunter. Her mind was on her sketchpad, however, as she drew Alec and Magnus. She normally avoided drawing either of them-she'd never found the right blue for Alec's eyes, and it always bugged her, and Magnus didn't translate as well to sketch as you'd think. More often than not he came out garish.

But she'd seen them yesterday, when she came back to walk Jace to the Institute (not realizing that he'd left three hours earlier than he said he would), curled up together in bed. Magnus had looked so... open, so vulnerable, and Alec... Alec looked so delicate and young.

That's how she drew them now, two figures in each others arms, Magnus devoid of any glitter or extraneous colors, and Alec simple and small in his arms. She shoved a strand of hair out of her eyes, frowning unconsciously as she detailed the wrinkles in the blankets covering them.

"Clarissa Fray! Are you even listening to me?" Her mother asked, hands on her hips.

Clary looked up at her mother, frowning again, "Yes, mom. I'm just... distracted."

"With _what_?" Her mom asked, exasperated.

"Just... stuff. I visited Alec in the hospital today. I'm worried about him. He looks so small and... delicate. He's normally all muscles and strength. It was strange, seeing him so weak."

Jocelyn Fray say down next to her daughter, giving her a one armed hug, "Is he doing any better?"

"Not really. Magnus is trying all types of spells, but nothings really working... I'm worried about both of them."

"Magnus is a warlock-a High Warlock. There's nothing that can hurt him-"

"Alec can. If anything happens to Alec, if he d-dies... if Alec dies then I'm afraid that Magnus will too."

**~X~**

Isabelle let her head rest on the windowpane, breathing out as she gazed into the night. Her cellphone rang, but seeing as how it wasn't Alec or Magnus' ring tone, she ignored it. She knew who it would be, anyway. Some Downworlder calling her up to tell her about this absolutely _ah-may-zing_ party going on _right now_, and why wasn't she already there, putting everyone else to shame?

She didn't want to have to tell yet another person that she couldn't-Alec might need her. And on the off chance that he would need her-_her_, his sister, Izzy, not Magnus or Maryse or Robert or Jace or _anyone_ else... she had to be there.

The door to her bedroom swung slowly open, but she didn't turn, knowing that it had to be Jace. Her mother had been avoiding them all, as if simply seeing Isabelle would remind her of all that she had lost, and all that she may lose. Her father... he was there, but only in name and body. He stared at the walls, looking like a puppy that had just been kicked.

"Izzy. Come on, let's... let's go get something to eat." Jace's voice curled around her, reminding her of the times when he was her role model, him and Alec, her brothers-so strong, so infallible...

"No." her voice was warped to her own ears, cracking slightly from disuse. It was strange, remembering a time when she'd probably be shrieking at Jace to _knock, please_!, and getting ready to go out. She'd dumped her last boyfriend when Alec got sick-too bad, too, cause he was actually kind of nice.

"Come _on_. When was the last time you left the house-hell, when was the last time you left this _room_? Isabelle, you-"

"No!" she insisted, turning to look at him. Jace, who stood at the doorway looking healthy and alive and _well_. Jace who looked the same as always, all golden skin and fair hair... reminding her of Alec, pale and shrunken in the hospital bed, head lacking the ebony curls that made their resemblance to each other so obvious.

"No, I can't. What if Ma-Alec needs me?" Isabelle cursed herself for her slip-up.

"Izzy..." Jace moved to sit beside her, sliding his arm around her shoulders, "Alec isn't Max. What happened to Max was a tragedy, but..."

"But it was my fault. I was there. I could've saved him. But I just walked away. I'm not going to make the same mistake with Alec-I _won't_."

"Isabelle Lightwood. What happened with Max was _not_ your fault." Jace said firmly, forcing her to face him. His heart softened when she gazed shyly up at him. In that moment she was 12 years old again, and wanting desperately to tag along whenever he and Alec went to training.

He pulled her into a tighter hug, kissing her head gently. No matter what, she was his sister, as much as Alec was his brother. He might not have always been the most responsible person, but he would never let himself be called a bad brother. He would protect Isabelle, and Alec, like he couldn't protect Max. He would never let them be hurt.

**~X~**

Robert Lightwood was at a complete loss as to what to do. So he sat on the couch and just... stared. Stared at his favorite picture of their family. Taken back when the children were all so little... back when Alec was only eleven, smiling slightly at the camera. Isabelle was nine, and still daddy's little princess, wearing a lacy white dress with pink and red bows. And there was Max. Tiny in his mothers arms, only two years old. He was leaning forward in her arms, eyes wide as he tried to grab Alec's hair.

He misses those times. When he was their heroes, when being a Shadowhunter was a faraway dream, when Isabelle didn't sneak off to parties, Alec didn't have an 800-year-old boyfriend, and Max... and Max was still alive.

He didn't begrudge Alec his happiness, nor Isabelle her parties. He had even accepted Max's death-he still cried quite often about it, usually when he found something of his around the house. But that was such a simple time...

And now, knowing he could lose Alec as well as Max? It just seemed so unfair, like the world shouldn't be so cruel.

Robert knew that Shadowhunting was a dangerous profession-he knew that there was a chance that he would live to see one of his children killed. But that was supposed to be in the line of duty-_not_ when they were 9 and 19. It was unfair. It wasn't supposed to be like this. Max wasn't supposed to die before he got to live, and Alec wasn't supposed to waste away in a hospital.

The phone rang shrilly, and Robert looked up in confusion-the reasoning behind having a home phone had always been lost on him-they were hardly ever here long enough to have a respectable phone conversation, and when they were they had their cells on them.

He shoved off of the couch, idly wondering where Maryse was, and picked the phone up off the holder, glancing at the caller ID.

**~X~**

Maryse was in the kitchen, her chin propped up by one arm, staring at the fridge. Or, more aptly, the pictures on the fridge. Once, when Alec was about seven, a Good Housekeeping magazine had accidentally been delivered to them. She'd read it for lack of anything better to do-Isabelle had chicken pox and she had to stay home from Shadowhunting to look after her. There had been an article on having a 'Wholesome American Home'. Most of the tips had seemed preposterous to her (why on earth did you need _covers_ for your _tissue boxes_? They came with a cover-a very nice picture of watercolor flowers), but one-putting pictures on the refrigerator-had stuck in her mind. So, when Alec drew a picture of Isabelle with purple and green polka-dots all over her (she'd explained what chicken pox were, but as Alec hadn't had them, he hadn't seen Isabelle. Apparently she'd forgotten to mention what color they were), she quite happily stuck it to the fridge.

Over the years the pictures had evolved, and changed. Now there was only five, where there had once been over twenty. Alec had drawn the city, a view from what Maryse suspected was Magnus' window. Isabelle had drawn a party scene, at the center there was a girl with long black hair, a coiled golden whip, and Marks up and down her arms. Clary had contributed a drawing, of the entire Lightwood family, Jace included. The fourth drawing was one of Max's, of Alec and Jace. Jace wielded a blade of fire, while Alec held an intricate bow and arrow, the look on his face so intense and so Alec-like...

The fifth picture was a photograph, one of Alec and Magnus in Paris. They'd sent it to them and at first Maryse hadn't been sure what to think of it. But she'd grown to cherish it. Alec was smiling-not just smiling, but laughing, head thrown back and eyes on Magnus. Magnus grinned as well, openly looking at Alec. The looks on their faces were identical-joy and love. That had been when Maryse knew that she had _really_ better get to know and like Magnus, because even though she hadn't known, he was already an integral part of her family. Their family.

She knew it wasn't fair, what she was doing to Isabelle and Jace. Avoiding them, avoiding being near them or speaking to them. She knew that they needed their mother. But she just... couldn't. Maryse knew that she wouldn't be able to be their mother, not the one that they remembered. She couldn't hug Jace while he protested feebly that he was too _old_ to be hugged, or brush Isabelle's hair while listening to her chatter on and on about her parties. Seeing Jace reminded her of watching him and Alec fight together, and seeing Isabelle reminded her of watching Alec poke at his baby sister ("Are babies supposed to be this loud?").

It was unfair to all of them, and she swore she would do better. Alec wasn't gone-he was still alive, he was a fighter. She would fight with him, fight against the depression that seemed to have taken her in hand since Max's death. She would go to Isabelle's room, and hug her, and hug Jace too, even if he complained. And tomorrow morning she would go to Alec's room and hug _him_, too. Just because she could.

Maryse was abruptly pulled out of her musings by the sudden arrival of Robert, bursting in through the kitchen doors.

"Robert?" she asked, standing as her hand went instinctively to trace the handle of the stele in her waistband. Too many years of Shadowhunting had ingrained that instinct into her very being.

He held the phone out to her, his face pale, "The hospital."

**~X~**

Magnus awoke with a start, nearly falling off the bed as his cell phone blasted a screaming verse of some Top-10 pop hit. His eyes immediately went to his alarm clock, swearing quite violently in several different languages when he realized he had slept almost eight hours.

He shoved the phone to his ear as he tugged off his shirt and grabbed blindly for another one from his closet.

"s'Magnus, whaddyawant?" he answered, both cranky and still half-asleep.

"Magnus? It's Maryse Lightwood. Y-You have to get to the hospital RIGHT NOW."

Magnus woke up immediately, dropping the shimmery shirt in his hand and clutching the phone with both hands, "Why?"

"J-Just hurry!" Maryse said with what sounded suspiciously like a sob, before hanging up.

Magnus stood there, still clutching the phone, barely breathing. A car banging by outside roused him enough for him to jump into action.

He snapped his fingers, instantly dressing himself, and dashed out the door. Magnus stumbled down the stairs, cursing them as he burst outside. Moving quickly, he shoved by people on the sidewalk, his fingers absentmindedly sending off blue sparks like crazy as he ran all the way to the hospital. At last he reached the doors, running past the elevators to take the stairs, his heart beating a million miles a minute.

He dashed up the stairs, his breath coming in harsh pants. Hurry. Hurry, he had to hurry. He had to _run_, had to _fly_, had to get to Alec so he could touch him and hold him and kiss him and make sure he was still there, was still alright and still alive.

Surely he would've felt it if something had happened? Surely there would've been some sort of feeling of immense loss and sorrow if anything had gone wrong. He wouldn't have slept through it, wouldn't have slept as Alec d-NO. Alec was fine. He'd get to the right floor and he would yell at Maryse for worrying him so. Jace would make some disparaging remark and Isabelle would tell him to shut up. Alec would laugh, and it wouldn't matter if it was only a breathy little sound, because it would be _there_. Magnus shoved open the door to the hall Alec was in, nearly causing an older doctor to get hit in the back of the head.

He saw Maryse and Robert with Jace and Isabelle at the other end of the hallway. There was a doctor, saying something to them that caused Maryse to begin to shake with the force of her sobs. Robert clutched her close to him as his own eyes filled with tears.

Jace let out a loud curse as he punched the wall-even from where he was standing, Magnus could see the bits of plaster that signified that his fist had gone right through the wall. Jace always did tend to react violently. Isabelle fell to her knees, letting out a tortured sounding wail, curling in on herself as she cried.

Magnus couldn't move, couldn't take the few steps forward to be able to hear them, to be able to _know_. But he didn't need to. He could read the doctors lips easily, read the words he spoke.

_It was sudden. Nothing we could do. In his sleep. It was peaceful. Painless. Body couldn't take the stress. Just drifted away. I'm so sorry._

So sorry.

**I really am-SO SORRY. It had to end this way. But it's not ending. There's still an epilogue to come, and then the sequel.**

**Speaking of the sequel, the title of it will be: All That Glitters is Gone. It's kind of a depressing title, which is hard to do when it has the word glitter in it.**

**So keep an eye out for it! Or just Author Alert me! :)**

**Reviews would be absolutely lovely (even if you're just telling me how much you **_**hate**_** me for killing him, or threatening me with bodily harm).**


	7. Epilogue: Denouement

**Wow. You guys **_**really**_** didn't like that. I mean seriously. Hopefully this epilogue will show you where I'm planning to go with the sequel.**

**But hey-this story is OFFICIALLY over! My FIRST EVER COMPLETE multi-chapter story! And people liked it (until last chapter, in which case I believe I became quite hated by a few people)!**

The sky was grey, and the inhabitants of Manhattan and Brooklyn shivered at the sudden bite to the cold, and at the sudden feeling of melancholy that seemed to pierce the air. Even the squirrels in Central Park stopped chittering and running around, instead running back to their trees to curl up with their little squirrel families. No one knew what was wrong, but everyone could tell that on this day, something horrible and tragic had happened.

Magnus had returned to his house shortly after that. There was no point-in staying there, listening to the Lightwoods' fall apart. There was no point in anything, no point in working, eating, drinking, shopping, breathing... living.

He shoved through the door, leaving it to hang open as he slumped on the couch. For a moment, everything was very still. The very air seemed to be waiting for something to happen. Then a noise-soft, like something breaking. Then another sound, a repetition of the previous sound.

Again and again, sobs wracked Magnus' body. Then he stood, kicking out with one foot and upending the table. He forwent magic, choosing instead to show his anger physically. He punched the wall, shoved over a table. He screamed and threw things and destroyed things.

At last he collapsed, crying harder and harder. He sat on the ground, his knees pulled up to his chest, with his arms wrapped around them. He sobbed harder, his entire body shaking with the force of them. His life was ending, his soul was cracking. His Alec was gone.

He stayed like that for hours, just crying and struggling to heal himself. His magic could do so much, but it couldn't heal a broken heart. Or, apparently, help the one person he'd ever loved this much. It was so _unfair_. He'd had 800 years to live, and Alec only got nineteen? It was the most unfair thing he'd ever heard of.

He snorted, remembering one of the doctors calling him and the Lightwoods into a room a few days ago, telling them about the possibility of death. Talking to them about therapy, about catharsis, about doing constructive, non-destructive things.

Screw constructive. Alec was gone. They were lucky he hadn't accidentally set the entire fucking hospital on fire. _Why_ hadn't they been able to save Alec? They saved people every day-they were _doctors_. That was their _job_. He felt bad for mundanes, if all they had to go to were these idiotic 'doctors' that couldn't even save a perfectly healthy, strong, beautiful, perfect, _amazing_ nineteen-year-old boy.

One small part of his mind went to wondering about the rest of the Lightwoods. The last time he'd seen Maryse, she was sobbing into Roberts shoulder. Isabelle was clinging to Jace, who was having his hand stitched up by an orderly. After punching through the wall once, he'd done it three more times. They'd all looked so... small. So shrunken, like they'd lost a hundred members instead of one. He knew that the right thing to do would've been to comfort them. To hug Isabelle and Maryse, and nod stoically at Robert and Jace. But he couldn't. He couldn't pretend that he was fine, and he couldn't subject them to him having a breakdown.

So he hadn't said anything. He thought Jace had seen him, because that's when Jace had stopped punching the wall, and instead turned to stare down the hallway, the expression on his face similar to some one who watched a little kid watch his puppy get hit by a car. Devastated and worried. The thought that Jace could actually be worried about _him_ was enough to make him leave the hospital easily.

Magnus allowed his thoughts to drift, as it was the only way for his immense grief to not crush him. His body still shuddered a bit, and tears leaked slowly out of his eyes, sliding down his cheeks and splashing on his legs.

Magnus heard something strange to his right and, after a few minutes, he turned to look at it. Surrounded by a pile of ashes, there was a thin stack of paper, stapled. He let out a sardonic laugh when he realized it was the translation. The translation he'd been waiting _so_ damn long for. And now it was here. And Alec was not. And never would be again.

He reached over and snatched it up, planning on ripping it into a thousand little pieces and then igniting them on fire. But he paused when he saw a note on the top with his name written in gigantic red letters.

'MAGNUS BANE! Be very careful with this! It is not only very useful, but very dangerous. Imagine how many people would try to force the Fair Folk into using some of these rituals... Sincerely, Vivienne Alao'

He flipped past the pages, reading quickly so he could judge whether or not he could continue with his destruction.

_There are many preventative measures that can be taken to deal with death. However there is nothing a warlock can do to bring someone back once they have left the land of the living. The only ones who can bring back mortals from death is the Fair Folk. There are several rituals that they can use, but all rely on them being willing. And the most likely way of getting a fairy to be willing to help someone else-mortal or Downworlder, is to do them a favor equaling the favor given._

Magnus was still. He was very still. Slowly the pieces began to assemble themselves.

A favor needed.

A favor equal to the price of bringing someone back from the dead.

And a way to give the Fair Folk something they would want very much.

No one else would like it very much... but...

He would do _anything_ to get Alec back.

**Dun-dun-dun.**

**So, be watching for the sequel, which will hopefully be up soon, All That Glitters is Gone.**

**And MagnusBaneLove13-I **_**promise**_** not to kill Magnus in the sequel. And I totally cried like twenty billion times when I read the seventh Harry Potter book, so I can appreciate how sad the last chapter must have been (if you didn't cry for that, but you cried for me...).**

**Reviews are the best!**


End file.
